Friday, October 3, 2008

Post Nuptial Depression

Perhaps it's odd that after a beautiful wedding like ours, I could find myself in a state of deep depression, but it's true!

I am suffering from a self-diagnosed form of PND - post nuptial depression. (No, it's not in the DSM-IV, but I will get it put in the DSM-V for sure!) It's now been 6 days since the wedding, and although I am recovering, I am still feeling the pangs of sadness now that the wedding's all over. Some things that cause a tear to fall every so often include the bouquet I've hung to dry, my wedding dress draped over a chair in my bedroom, the veil hanging above the stairs (still wrinkled from it's days in a plastic bag), and of course, the pictures sent by friends and family. I really did cry a little bit when I saw the pics for the first time, but each day since, I've been able to choke back the tears a little more, and was finally able to smile once or twice when seeing how happy we looked on Saturday.

So, the real question here is "Am I crazy?" Am I? (I think I can actually hear the dreaded answer over the Web. Don't shout!) I anticipated feeling this way after the wedding, considering the months of wedding planning. I thoroughly enjoyed much of it - from the time I spent researching the most economical way to buy bubbles, straight through to the entire day Colleen and I spent ironing on the Phillies shirts. It was all a pleasure! (Now I hear you screaming how crazy I am!)

I am doing better now, even though I keep thinking things like, "Last week at this time, I was..." (at the time I'm writing this, I'm thinking "...getting ready for the Phillies game." I try to stay postive thinking that I love my husband. Every time I see his left hand with that ring, it's a little amazing to me! I think of how much fun I had last week and of all the great people who celebrated with us, and my tears turn into smiles.

(Okay, I get it... after re-reading this, I know I'm nuts!)

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